MASERU – ‘Getting played’, the ultimate guide to a healthy relationship is latest literary offer in town, and as the name suggests the book is about dating and relationships.
The book has been penned by Mohosho Pofane, a Mosotho man residing in the capital Maseru. Mohosho was born at Ha Mokhehle, Teyateyaneng, in the Berea district. He went to St Agnes Primary School in Teyateyaneng, and then did his high school in neighbouring South Africa before returning to where he enrolled with the National University Lesotho.
In an interview with Life&Style this week the author says he has always been passionate about writing and political activism. He joined and led structures of several political organizations both in high school and at university.
‘‘Love is a beautiful thing. It’s a risk that most of us take over and over again with the hope of finding the perfect partner with whom we’re willing to spend the rest of our lives with – someone who will make one’s journey of love worthwhile. While we’re searching, we end up in toxic situations, being played or ghosted, and as a result, we end up looking at the whole notion of love differently. Some people give in to the cruelty and play the game too, while others keep hoping for a good partner and try over and over again,” says Mohosho.
He noted that it’s often said that the world does not reward those who play by the rules (which is arguably true), so he asks “wouldn’t it be great if we knew the difference between people who come to us to play and those who come with genuinely good intentions?”
‘Getting played’ provides readers with that difference. He further added that almost everyone knows the feeling of being played in dating, that individuals are misled by someone who seemed to be into them.
“There were no warning signs that someone was about to flip the script and just as you were letting your guard down, starting to get excited about the promise of a long-term relationship, the person you were dating flakes, they pull away. They dump or ghost you. At the end of the day leaving you feeling like a fool for believing in something that was not real,” he adds.
Boasting chapters such as The psychology of players, Why people get played, How to play a player into a serious relationship and The notion of a side-chick ‘Getting played’ will teach you everything you need to know to avoid getting your heart broken.
The book does not only address players but it also touches on general dating and relationships, it talks about hygiene, time and respect as some of the core essence of healthy relationships which eliminates the perception that it only speaks to women and girls.
‘‘I have had gents complain that my book gives the game away, the same gents who have scores of female best friends that they discuss everything about relationships with on daily basis, from dating advice to lying about other gents with the hope that at one point they will get their chances with those women.
My book is a different best-friend because it has no personal agenda. Some positive feedback which comes from married couples says a lot about how diverse ‘Getting played’ is with regard to relationships,” he adds.
He continued: “The point I am making is that we may not be as romantic as we think we are, or whatever it is that we do in the name of love, may not be romance at all. As a country, we couldn’t even utilize and sustain a movie theater for 5 years. American textbooks on relationships and dating talk about romance in the context of American life.
They have no regard for our own class culture of romance as African people. As a result, I went out of my way to write about dating and relationships in the context of our own culture, as Africans and as the citizens of Lesotho.’’
Mohosho says he started writing for a school magazine in mid school, going on to write for several local publications on a freelance basis; this led him to winning several writing awards that include the latest United Nations Essay Competition on its 75th Birthday. He emphasised that the book was inspired by the fact that what we view dating in the western context, which oftentimes has a different interpretation in the African context.
“Here we hardly do dinner dates, movie nights, road trips and so on. Most Africans didn’t grow up in cities where you can just grab a milkshake or some ice cream with your partner after school or work. Our childhoods were not as glamorous where you could just start your car and drive your partner to school.” ‘Getting played’ was published first on January 6 as an Amazon Kindle e-book and later published in Lesotho on January 10.
The book was supposed to be launched on January 25, but the country was forced into lockdown which made it impossible for scheduled public gatherings. The launch was suspended indefinitely, and the author is presently facilitating a new schedule for a news date of launch which he said should be within February.
‘Getting played’ is a self-published title. It is authentic in that it was individually organized from manuscript, typesetting, cover designing and on most of the editorial.
It is now available on numerous online bookstores including Google Play Books with a very promising sales rate.
Soft copies of the book are available on Amazon and Kindle Store as both e-books and a paperback for $4.99 and e-book and $29.00 a paperback. Hard copies remain with the author who is available on Facebook and can be contacted to reserve a copy on +266 59555318 at M150.